Features:

Lots of heavy ridges and texturing for internal stimulation and a narrower tip with gradual swell

Anal Safe:

No

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses

Back Story:

It’s a turtle! It’s an armadillo! It’s some kind of weird fleshy thing with plates on it. It’s the ArmorDong!!

I’ve been redoing this page for 8 hours and I’ve definitely lost my mind at this point but this was a random inspiration design done in the same batch as the Squiddong.

Features:

A relatively smooth design with a smooth taper from the tip to the other body segments.

Sizes Available:

Currently only Large.

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

Large: Medium and firmer; sometimes soft

Back Story:

Just a fun commission based off ‘beenis’ pun.

Features:

• Fully 3d design where the bulb can be inserted to hold the design in place
• Please note that the shaft is large enough that there is significant flop in the neck of the toy and it won’t stand ‘erect’ on it’s own while being worn.

Sizes Available:

One size wonder. I *might* make a smaller version with a thicker neck at some point but absolutely no promises.

Stands up in:

Doesn’t stand up

Back Story:

Commissioned for some in-use content that involved some REALLY neat prop and environment work (pictured in a video here and photo here; both links are NSFW). If I remember correctly, the one from the picture had a 00-50 shaft with a 30A bulb

Features:

Technically 3 shafts and a face that will judge you and it’s situation with much displeasure.

Sizes Available:

Small, Medium, Large, XL

XXXL cacti (and other sizes not listed above) have been produced before, but are currently a pre-order that will incur an additional mold fee to have it produced since both the mold and master need to be redone

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses

Back Story:

This one I made purely because I thought the ‘I’d rather f*ck a cactus’ meme was funny.

Features:

A weirdly judgmental face that will stare at you with displeasure?

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses

Back Story:

This was made for an informal competition between indie makers in a discord server. The category was ‘transformation’ and I opted to do something not a butterfly since that was the more obvious solution to me.

Features:

Lots of subtle texture on a relatively even shaped shaft and a thin base for wearing.

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

Soft and above (usually)

Back Story:

This was a commission piece because the person wanted a smaller corn.

Features:

A life casting of a cucumber that was starting to get a bit weird.

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

Medium and above (usually)

Back Story:

This was also a commission piece; there’s not much of a story behind it 😛 Also it’s not a dang pickle XD

Features:

Does not come with automatic steering or heated seats.

Sizes available:

XL only ; there are no real plans to recreate this in other sizes unless there’s a big demand

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses

Back Story:

Commissioned design which I was very skeptical about, but I think it turned out REALLY fun and I absolutely love pouring these (but don’t do it frequently outside of customs).

I also learned some fun mold stuff on this one and the mold is a 2 parter (with a seam around the entire design but it’s generally pretty minimal) so I can get to the entire inside to paint whatever weird designs on the car you want.

You also have the client to thank for the fun name – I would have just called it ‘Car’.

Features:

5 floppy peels and it’s own twitter profile where the og banana complains a lot about taking over the world

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

Doesn’t stand at all, though there is the option to purchase a 3d printed stand with the banana so it displays better.

Back Story:

The back story is I hate myself and like torturing myself with evil molds. Also I wanted to do a banana, but one that was different from all the other ones already on the market and I was like ‘I bet incorporating peels into it would be different enough’.

Also fun story: when I was stress testing the banana prototype, I brought it to a family event and told them to play with it. Most of them don’t know I make dildos, so they were flopping it around gleefully and making weird remarks about it the whole time.

Features:

Lots of heavy ridges and texturing for internal stimulation

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses

Back Story:

This was one of those odd things I just sat down to start sculpting with no real plan or goal and a while later came out with this. 

I was kind of looking at it going ‘this line looks a bit like a big fluffy shawl kind of deal’ so I ran with the design and added a weird abstract goat design with luxurious faux-fur trim around the front opening and a pleated area on the back.

It’s also the third dildo I ever designed.

Features:

Thin tip with gradual taper towards the bottom designed for depth play.

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

Short: Medium and above

Long: Unknown

Back Story:

If I’m being honest, 90% of the reason I made this was because I wanted something I could get really crazy ribboning on when I wanted to, and it didn’t disappoint. I also had plans to make some very generic toys that I could pour quickly and easily and offer at more affordable prices and this was intended to be the first in that series.

Features:

FLAT BOTTOM, double ended design and ridges every 2″ if you’re trying to mark depth

Anal Safe:

No
(It’s made of the same skin safe silicone as everything else, there’s just no flared base so it could theoretically get slurped)

Stands up in:

It’s a flat slab. It doesn’t stand up.

Back Story:

I wanted something to terrorize my roommates with so I made this. Intruders beware!

But I actually just saw those ‘world’s biggest gummy worm’ things and thought it would be a funny design. I made them flat so they could be poured with the traditional gummy worm stripes.

Before you ask about a round worm design – I have theoretical future schemes, but it’s not high on my priority list atm and they’re a nightmare to mold (I did a prototype already).

Features:

Smooth shaft with gentle ribbing and a head that feels like a flaccid clown hammer if you try to wield it like an actual tool.

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

It doesn’t stand up at all (except MAYBE in firm) and I’m mad about it.

Back Story:

Another commission piece that I adapted one of the first models I ever made in college for (except I modded it so heavily I probably should have just remade it, but whatever).

Features:

• Tapered tip for easier insertion
• Gradual knot towards the middle of the toy

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses (sometimes it leans a bit though)

Back Story:

The first dildo I ever designed (apart from the horrific monstera design I tried to make out of poylmer clay, then destroyed, then recreated digitally and thought it looked terrible so never listed).

I kind of sat down with the intention of making something sci-fi with glands on it. The head also reminded me of the patterning on a puffin, hence the goofy name. 

By the end of the sculpt, this turned into ‘what if a puffin morphed with a dragon which morphed with sci-fi glands’. 

It’s also fun to boop its little head around.

Features:

Build in handle for easy gripping

Anal Safe:

Yes (as long as you don’t push past the flat part on the cone)

Stands up in:

None of the sizes or firmnesses.

Back Story:

There’s not really much backstory with this one, I just thought it would be funny to make. The bright side is that now I know ‘ice cream’ is two words instead of one?

AND… Apparently for almost 2 years I’ve been saying ‘napoleon’ instead of ‘Neapolitan’, so thank you all for correcting me XD Y’all are stuck with it now.

Features:

• Horn on bottom for extra stimulation
• Knubby ridges near the top for those that like texture

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

Medium firmness and firmer:  all sizes.

Soft: floppy but stands on medium size, stands on small, base stays rooted but top flops over aggressively on large

Back Story:

This is one of the few designs where I sort of had a plan and that plan devolved really quickly into something else I liked. When I sat down to make this I thought I was trying to go in a more lobster direction (btw, did you see the actual lobster dongs on the site??) but I found some cool pictures of grass hoppers and rhinoceros beetles so it more or less turned into some kind of weird insect creature thingy. 

The name came because it was insect inspired and I thought the design looked kind of regal. A lot of colony insects have some kind of queen they protect so I figured ‘insect queen’ would work as a name.

Features:

• Lots of ridged texture
• Flared tip with an almost scoop-like shape

Anal Safe:

No

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses

Back Story:

This was another weird thing born of a low-key competition of makers. The theme was ‘Ocean’ if I recall correctly and I figured if I was going to go ocean, why not make it weird and just make a lobster? 

It’s actually a pretty literal design until you get to the base/face area. 

Features:

Narrow tip for easier insertion

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

TBD

Back Story:

Commission piece. Client had nothing to do with the horrible name.

Features:

A mostly smooth shaft with a knot in the middle and slightly more texture towards the base

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

Most sizes, most firmnesses (with softer and larger getting a bit dicey)

Back Story:

This was the first dildo design I ever tried to make and it was definitely before I realized people often enjoy more exotic shapes (you can’t get much less exotic with a stick and a ball in it, no matter how many tropical foliage patterns you put on).

I also sculpted the first one out of polymer clay and that master got absolutely destroyed while trying to mold it. So I remade it digitally and got working molds. And it is absolutely one of the most challenging models to demold so I haven’t made many of them. If you want them, there are build your own listings – I refuse to make these for stock drops out of pure laziness, but they would take ribboning very well.

Features:

Very aggressive ridges and a shorter shaft & functional threadding between the nut and bolt (if lube is used)

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses

Back Story:

I taught animation for a while and would be teaching people how to model threading and for fun I decided to see if it was functional threading and figured ‘if I’m doing this, I may as well make it into a dildo?’

Also the ‘screw you’ pun kind of amused me while Il wa

Features:

• 12″ of pure unadulterated terror.
• A weird little face
• A gradual taper with mild texturing over the… body of the OddBody.

Other Notes:

This design has a seam (which is usually very minimal) running around the entire side portion of the body, which allows me to get into the mold to paint the thing properly when requested.

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

You’re lucky if it stands up in medium.

Back Story:

I don’t know why I made this. Cosmic forces of darkness compelled me.

Features:

Blunted Lead so you don’t stab the crap out of yourself and smooth, hexagonal walls

This design is the same height for all toys and scales in thickness only.

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses

Back Story:

I sort of made this as a joke for The Pencil Project on twitter (they went with a different pencil-colored design) but I figured if I’m doing pencil colorations, I may as well have an actual pencil to put them on. This design also lends itself very nicely to ribboning which brings me joy.

Features:

Teardrop shaped tentacle with very moist looking suckers coming off it.

Available Sizes:

Small, Medium, Large, XL

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

Who the heck knows – I’ve only made XL so far

Back Story:

This was a commission piece that turns out to be based off a short animated clip (nsfw link to the clip) from Flou Art on twitter.

I did get permission to use the design 🙂

Features:

Extremely aggressive texture (with blunted /squared off edges) and a design that (If I ever get my act together) will be able to have a firm stick visible inside the softer crystal bit

Available Sizes:

Coming soon (or not. who knows. I do have the small crystal available without the stick by request)

Anal Safe:

No

Stands up in:

If normal rock candy doesn’t stand on it’s own, neither will this.

Back Story:

I think I just wanted to see how well I could pseudo-procedurally generate rock candy. The answer is ‘pretty ok if all you care about is aesthetics and not having to avoid overhangs for molding and casting because that will make you take about 4 hours of extra work positioning dozens of little crystals in all the crevices in a way that hopefully doesn’t look super weird but who realistically knows’

Features:

• Somewhat smoother design
• Bent tip for additional internal stimulation
• Gentle flaring in the center of the toy

Anal Safe:

With extreme caution. The base is flared, but it’s a very gentle flare.

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses

Back Story:

The 4th dildo I ever designed. I was trying to do a nicer version of the monstera design, decided it looked terrible then low-key just started doodling. 

Oddly enough this took me longer to design than some of the higher-detail designs, but it’s one of my favorite things to pour. 

Features:

Long, gently undulating design covered in a subtle scale texture.

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

Standing? What is standing? This thing sure as heck doesn’t know.

Back Story:

This design was crowd sourced via polls on Twitter. I also wanted to prove to myself I could procedurally lay in 100s of scales in just for ‘fun’

Features:

Super aggressive textures all over the splash and a little protrusion at the bottom that could serve as a grinding pad.

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses

Back Story:

I was kind of thinking something like a series of element-themed toys would be neat (I was rewatching the good Avatar as I do at least twice a year because it’s objectively one of the best written series of all times). It didn’t super turn out how I wanted (but I also didn’t know what I wanted) but it kind of is a mix between water and fire I suppose?

Features:

Smoothly tapering shaft with a large knot in the center of the toy

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

All sizes, all firmnesses

Back Story:

This design was some kind of free-form prompt interpretation and for some reason I was like ‘what if I make a dog shaped toy but in the shape of a giant squid’ and then I got kind of off prompt with squids and leaves and bags under the eyes and just… who really knows what I did here. This really is kind of a Rorschach dildo…

I’m not really sure where I got the name either… It’s really weird and it makes searching for the Squid plugs kind of challenging 😛

Features:

Very narrow tip for easier insertion and a secondary mini-claw that could be used for grinding

Anal Safe:

Yes

Stands up in:

Only time will tell

Back Story:

This design was some kind of free-form prompt interpretation and for some reason I was like ‘I feel like lobster claws. Let’s go.’